Cat Fancy
by candyswirl
Summary: Kakashi x Iruka-catboy, will include indecent acts involving Iruka as a catboy. Some Asuma x Kurenai but nothing serious. pretty much a PWP.
1. Chapter 01: Asuma's Suffering

**!!!warning!!!**

**this fic contains :** yaoi (kakashi x iruka brand), a catboy, gratuitous misuse of jutsu, bad management of pre-existing characters, ooc-ness, poor word choice, bad grammar, and one curse word in a pear tree.

**this fic does not contain :** plot, good times, ice cream, paperweights

**warnings from the future:** will contain sexual acts with said catboy, hopefully of the hot or at least interesting variety but i can't make any guarantees.

that said, enjoy! :)

oh yeah, and i don't own anything. not a single thing.

--------CH 01: Asuma's Suffering--------

Asuma had known from the start that this was a bad idea. Just like practicing an untested jutsu is a bad idea. Especially when practiced on living things. Especially on human living things. Really Very Especially on well liked human living things, such as, for example, on a certain academy instructor widely known as Umino Iruka.

Asuma sighed, perched on the edge of the couch seat, trying to ignore the wiggling between his legs. He drew his knees sharply inward, hoping the added pressure would dissuade any more movement. There was a squeak and a few seconds of stillness, followed by even more vigorous wiggling. Closing his eyes and taking a drag from his cigarette, he resolved for the umpteenth time to devise a way to say no to Kurenai. He replayed the events in his head.

His phone had rung, and this time it wasn't his mother.

"Hello?" queried a familiar female voice. Yes, quite certainly not mother.

"Hello?"

"Asuma-san?"

"Yes, speaking. Who's this?" Although he knew perfectly well to whom the heavenly voice belonged.

"It's Kurenai"

"Oh, hey. What's up?"

"Ummm, are you busy right now?"

"Right now?"

He glanced at the unfinished paperwork, his apartment that really needed tidying before his mother came calling, and the half done embroidery in his hands. He then demanded that his heart stop with all that irregular beating.

"No, I'm not. What'd you have in mind?" He grinned widely, hopeful.

"Well, uh, I need a favor. I need you...I need you to watch someone for me, just for a little while."

Asuma's smile began to wane, as well as his hope.

"You...need a babysitter."

"Uuummmm...in a way, yes. Just for a very short while. Please I'm desperate."

Asuma paused, so Kurenai started up again, using her special honey dipped, candy coated, hubba hubba voice.

"Please Asuma-san? I'll make it up to you." she drawled, ending with a playful upward pitch.

Asuma, having no defense against that, relented.

Of course, had he known the someone he had to watch was a post mis-jutsued Iruka, he might have reconsidered. (heh, not likely!) In any case, Kurenai had departed to seek the Hokage's counsel, leaving Asuma in a ruined apartment, holding down the fort with a noisy, restless, crouching catboy-Iruka sitting between his legs.

Thankfully Iruka made for a rambunctious cat and not a vicious one, refraining from taking a chunk out of Asuma. Though he was in more than close-enough proximity to do so. Nonetheless, a too-swift turn of the head made Asuma rather nervous, adding to his foul mood.

Iruka shifted against the thigh he faced, which happened to be Asuma's left thigh. It's twin was applied firmly behind him across the shoulder blades, the pair acting as pincers to keep him seated, his knees having no choice but to be drawn up and pinned to his chest. To one side he felt the rough fabric of the couch chaffing his skin, to the other were two calves hemming him in like prison bars, the feet glued to the floor and cruelly unmoving, no matter how plaintively or shrilly Iruka yowled. This was even worse than all that cloth he'd been trapped in earlier, Inner Iruka the cat reflected. At least most of that had been dispensed with. Or, that's what Inner Iruka the cat would have said, but to us all it would've sounded like this : mewmewmewmewmeeeewmewmewmewmewmewmeeeewmewmewmewmewmewmew. mew. fuu.

Asuma looked down at the source of all the pitiful caterwauling. He really wasn't a cruel man, but Iruka left him no choice. He would not have to be so confined if he would just sit still and keep his clothes on, but today was determined not to be Asuma's day. So at present he was trying his best to keep his cool, to keep things under control. He'd wanted to hog-tie the schoolteacher, but Kurenai had been firmly against it, not wanting to add insult to injury. Well, Asuma reasoned, (unaware he was counting his eggs before they hatched) at least no one was around to see him.

All things considered then, it was just the right moment for Hatake Kakashi to make an appearance. Wearing weekend slacks and a button down shirt, sans hitai-ate and mask for the day, he appeared amidst vanishing tendrils of spent chakra. Asuma opened one eye a crack, then closed it again, sucking in another sweet draft of smoke. _Oh greeeeaaaat_, said Asuma's expression. Kakashi laughed.

"I knew you'd say yes, Asuma-san." Kakashi's tone was full of disgusting merriment.

Asuma's eyebrow twitched.

"Well, what do you want then?" growled the older man, not bothering to veil the crossness in his voice.

Kakashi smiled in unabashed amusement.

"I just wanted to see for myself. Kurenai sounded rather concerned, but it doesn't look too bad." Kakashi noted the broken state of everything in the room, before turning back to Asuma and his charge.

Kakashi stepped closer, peering down at Iruka, now possessor oftwo grey-brown tabby ears and a tail. Iruka in turn watched Kakashi silently with wide eyes, ears perking in his direction. Kakashi crouched by Asuma's leg, his hands and chin parked neatly on the man's outer thigh, facing the chuunin. He noted the sleek bared shoulders and the unbound hair that grazed them. He wondered at the underdressed state that was so unlike the chuunin, but kept silent on the subject.

"Iruka sensei?...Iruka sensei?" Kakashi called with a slight lilt in his tone.

Iruka blinked.

"Kitty kitty ?"

With a charming little swivel of his ears, ringed tail poised in the air, Iruka mewed. An astonishingly accurate, undeniably adorable cat-like mew. Kakashi smiled warmly.

Asuma cast his eye down on the genius ninja, quirking an eyebrow.

"He's not exactly Iruka at the moment you know. I don't think cats really care what you call them." Or so he'd heard, having never owned a cat thanks to some smothering mother types who hadn't allowed him any pets.

Kakashi never broke his gaze. Instead he reached his hand over, smirking.

"Does he bite?"

Asuma snorted, then puffed.

Kakashi scratched behind Iruka's curious new set of ears. With eyes gone half-mast, Iruka craned his head, leaning into the touch and taking on an expression of blissful concentration. Kakashi's grin spread, though he quashed it before Asuma could see. Rising, hands back in his pockets, Kakashi came to a decision.

"You know, I've heard that milk puts a cat right to sleep" he said in his most helpful tone. Asuma studied the man warily, but Kakashi knew Asuma was beginning to see things his way. One could hear the clicking of gears' teeth coming from Asuma's head.

_"Hmmmm...Peace and quiet would be nice...then I could put some feeling back in my legs...and clean up some...Kurenai would like that, wouldn't she..."_

"Alright then, catch him as soon as I get up." Asuma slowly relaxed his grip, would have done it gleefully too if not for present company. Kakashi bent to scratch behind Iruka's ears, listening to the cat-boy purr. Iruka did not move except to position those curled fingers on various spots around his head. Asuma, normally not a snorter, snorted again. He started down the hall, heading to where he guessed the kitchen might be. "Don't let him take those boxers off!" he called back.

"Sure thing, Asuma-san." came Kakashi's earnest reply. "Wouldn't dream of it" he added quietly, that hidden smile resurfacing.

"I wonder if Kurenai keeps any scotch?" Asuma mumbled as he surveyed the kitchen. Retrieving the milk carton from the fridge, (no such luck with that scotch) he began pouring into a cup, but thought better of it and instead poured some milk into a saucer. As much as he didn't want to see Iruka lapping this stuff out of a saucer, he didn't want to be holding the cup for him either, or sopping spilled milk out of the carpeted floor.

That, as it turned out, wouldn't have mattered, because there was neither hide nor hair of either Iruka or Kakashi in the living room when he returned. A quick scan for any remaining chakra confirmed his suspicions.

Asuma took an especially long, hard and deep drag, but this time with his eyes quite open.

"Well, shit."

Not his day at all.

----tbc----

aha, you made it to the end!

::lonely cricket chirp::

well, mr. cricket, this is my first fic so i hope i got all the warnings right, and wrote stuff ok. i don't remember anything about asuma's family so let's assume his mom is alive out there somewhere, and just ignore that ass of u and me crap. feel free to correct me but i'm not listening lalalalalalala

also, this was inspired by a piece of japanese fanart of asuma, kakashi and an iruka catboy found at the blackbird gallery. link to fanart in my profile. that fan art, of course, was in turn inspired by the manga / anime Naruto by Kishimoto.


	2. Chapter 02: Kakashi's Suffering

**!!!warnings!!!**

**in this chapter:** yaoi (still kakashi x iruka-catboy) and all that stuff i mentioned in chapter 01. except no curse words, i think. PG-13 so ask yourself, am i 13 yet?

**special thanks:** to **cat w**. and **midorigirl** for beta-reading :)  
check out the betatank lj community for your anime fic beta-reading needs.  
modded by **midorigirl**.

again, i don't own anything, last i checked. that could change though, if i can wrangle a marriage proposal out of kishimoto and avoid a prenup. plans are in motion.

--------CH 02 : Kakashi's Suffering--------

In the light of late afternoon, Konoha was enjoying one of its calmer days. Villagers carried on with the business of villaging, ninjas carried on with ninjaing. Well, most of the ninjas did. One lovelorn ninja with a smoking habit and fingertips callused by needlework was on the hunt. Another lovelorn genius-ninja was standing in the apartment of his beloved, with his beloved, shattering the quiet that normally characterized that particular corner of the Hidden Leaf.

Kakashi reluctantly let the squirming, howling catboy down. "Is it the shoulder hoisting you didn't like, Iruka-sensei?" Kakashi wondered aloud. Iruka took to his two feet and threw the jounin a dirty glare, tail whipping about indignantly. Kakashi gave a little laugh. "Or maybe it was the pinching. Or maybe even the petting?"

Like most cats, Iruka was quick to forgive, because you can't hold a grudge if you can't remember to do so in the first place. So he proceeded to investigate the sunlit living room, running his fingertips along the walls, sniffing at the curtains. Hanging back in the shade, a smile played on Kakashi's face, amused to see Iruka scrutinize his own apartment with such care. The Sharingan holder gave the cramped quarters a quick once over as well; storing details to feed his more interesting mental wanderings in the future.

Putting his ninja-sharp skills of observation to even better use, Kakashi took some time to admire all the new skin he was suddenly privy to. Iruka's lean muscles dipped and glided; his movements more fluid and lissome with feline instinct. Kakashi's eyes slid longingly over messy dark locks, down the valley of Iruka's spine, to slender hips and an elegant tail that poked out of a hastily cut hole in the boxer fabric. His line of sight crept back up over shoulder blades to the nape of Iruka's neck, a curve he'd often daydreamed of kissing and nipping.

Feeling a flush creep up, Kakashi looked to the ground, running a hand through his hair and rubbing the back of his neck. The glass face of his watch threw a spark of light across the room, causing Iruka to turn sharply and stare at the man lounging against the breakfast counter, deep in thought.

'Well, what did you bring him here for then...Sure, he's not really himself today, but that was the whole point! Perhaps this is one of those "inappropriate" situations people are always saying you shouldn't mess with' he ruminated, releasing a frustrated sigh that fluttered through his bangs. 'Easier said than -'

His senses suddenly lit, Kakashi looked up with a start to see himself reflected in slick, dark eyes. He felt a heated tremor flare through his center. Before him loomed Iruka, object of his fondest reveries, casting them both in soft inky shadow. He left nothing but a sliver of air between them, heat from his lithe form infusing with Kakashi's. The startled shinobi watched through a tangle of long lashes and hair, somehow glad for that ridiculous bit of cover, glad for the solid counter behind him. He could see the wet gleam in Iruka's eyes, the neat fractures of his irises, the way they roved over his face and neck. He swallowed slow and hard, breath stilling, heartbeat quickening.

Iruka's head drew closer still, eclipsing the entirety of Kakashi's vision with the dusk-soft details of his face, handsome features divided by a pale scar. His feathery exhalations seemed to mark Kakashi's flesh as Iruka explored him, taking in his scent without making contact. The hairs on the back of the jounin's neck rose as he shivered; yearning to touch what had never been so close before. But when he reached tentatively for Iruka's arm, Iruka deftly drew it away. Kakashi yielded, lest Iruka draw away altogether.

Iruka's lips lingered opposite Kakashi's, his cheek nearly skimming the tip of Kakashi's nose. The older man felt pricks of anticipation alight along the surface of his skin. His lower lip dropped a fraction, small furrows forming on his brow at his damp, itching palms. His senses drenched, his heavy lids slid shut as he shifted forward, simply wanting.

And found nothing but empty air.

Catching himself, he refocused, blinking rapidly before straightening up and releasing a tremulous breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He lifted his gaze, eyes trailing Iruka, who was busy knocking over picture frames and houseplants. A wan, sheepish grin quickly replaced Kakashi's dazed gape, though frustration knotted his throat and brow. He turned away from the distracting sight.

'Really' he chided, 'You're a ninja! Jounin even! Show a little... control.' He cast a sidelong glance at Iruka, now watching birds through a window, cat ears twitching excitedly. 'To be a bird...' Kakashi thought glumly, 'At least he'd touch me, maybe play a little before eating me...'

Finding his mouth and lips dry, Kakashi turned to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water. He hadn't planned much beyond absconding with this little opportunity. Usually quick on his feet, Iruka often short-circuited the thinking portions of his brain, rerouting all his blood to other, less cognitive areas. Lucky for one flustered copy-nin of the Hidden Leaf, fate didn't provide cat-boys without purpose.

He opened the refrigerator door and bent to grab for the pitcher. His hand abruptly changed course upon spying a shiny cylindrical container by the pitcher's side. If this were a movie, celestial music would have played behind the glowing can of proverbial manna.

"Extra Heavy Whipped Cream" the label read.

"Cats like whipped cream don't they?" he mused to no one, rattling the can and spraying a small portion on his palm as he walked back towards the oblivious chuunin.

Iruka's head turned at the sudden sound behind him. He saw Kakashi approach, his face practically beaming. The scent of something sweet, something delicious, was in the vicinity of Kakashi's hand. Walking over soundlessly, Iruka surveyed the hand Kakashi proffered to him. His tongue darted out tentatively at the white fluff, glancing at Kakashi before tasting it again. As he suspected, it was delicious. Before long Iruka was sucking on Kakashi's fingers, running his warm slick tongue between them and across open palm, a contrast to Kakashi's other hand, gripping the fabric of his pant leg. Breath hitching, his eyes hooded as he concentrated on the feel of damp heated pressure, and on the sight of his fingers gliding in and out of Iruka's pursed lips. His hand, as well as some other parts, continued tingling when Iruka stopped, discerning that there were no more heavy cream particles to be had. He turned blithely and resumed exploring behind the furniture and in the corners of the room.

Kakashi, not about to be upstaged by decor, sprayed another puff into his hand. The noise effectively gaining Iruka's attention once again, Kakashi had no trouble luring him down the short hall to the bedroom. He made a backwards trail to the foot of the modest bed. Iruka hesitated at the entranceway, clinging to the doorframe of the new room. Cocking his head to one side, Iruka looked at him, eyes shining and alert, and mewed softly.

Though he was more of a dog person, it would be fair to say that at this Kakashi did an internal "squee". His eyes crinkled in amusement as he put his hand out slowly to Iruka and let him have another taste, then withdrew it. Greed for more won out, much to Kakashi's delight. He planted himself on the bed, Iruka quickly following suit.

----tbc----

it hurt to write this. it hurt even more to write the upcoming NC-17 part, which is pretty formulaic but still. my thesaurus for the first time ever has creases in its spine. all so i could write porn. i'm very proud. XD

--------------------**Reviewer Response Corner**--------------------

Hey folks, thanks for the kind words

**beh, no name:** what happend to your name? ;P please do draw, the more kakairu drawings the better.

**turtledonkey27:** thanks! i love your story btw, I don't know why I haven't come across it before. I must be more vigilant!

**zhem:** thanks, i will be updating pretty quickly for this one, cause it's nearly all done. and its PWP so there isn't much to it to begin with ;

**hatorilover:** thanks, actually i have to credit whoever did the iruka catboy fanart for the idea. since it seems i can't put links within stories, the link is in my profile.

**freanch-fri-freak:** i will, mew!

**polka dot:** why expend mental energy when you can just ogle the fanart i based this on? ;) the link is in my profile. it looks like Iruka is a regular size. although he could be smaller, that would be kind of cute.

**eyesonme19:** thanks! my goal was to be at least interesting

**dvana:** thanks! i apologize a lot due to my crippling inferiority complex. ;) well, and my parents beat it into me. i haven't seen an iruka catboy fic anywhere either, which is part of the reason i ever set foot in the fanficcing department. i like drawing more to be honest, it's easier! writing hard.


	3. Chapter 03: The Rapture and The Fury

**!warning!**

**in this chapter:** more yaoi (kakashi x iruka-catboy) and all the other stuff in chapters 01 and 02. no curse words. and no plot in sight.  
**rating:** NC-17. all those under 17 must clear the room and go outside to play hopscotch. seriously. or jacks.  
**ownership:** it all belongs to that bastard Kishimoto. stabs pre-nup  
**special thanks:** to **cat w.** and **midorigirl** for being wonderful beta-readers/editors. they help make me look less stupid. (or they try...)

A/N - a long thing about ears which you probably weren't even thinking about but now will be unnecessarily conscious of :  
i have iruka with two pairs of ears. from here on, when i say 'cat ears', obviously i mean cat ears, when i just say 'ears', i mean his human ears. I just can't seem to find a way to say human ears without saying human ears, which to me sounds goofy, even for an iruka-catboy PWP. and why didn't i just give him only cat ears? i don't know, cause then what would the place where his normal ears were look like? just blank skin? it's too creepy, me no like.alright, on with it!

* * *

CHAPTER 03 : The Rapture and The Fury

Kakashi sat; legs akimbo, the canister by his side. A positively predatory Iruka crawled toward him, wetting his lips and catching dark strands of hair between them. Kakashi felt the stirrings of another flush as he reached out to brush the errant strands aside, fingertips grazing the supple flesh of Iruka's cheek.

The cat-boy stopped to kneel between the older man's legs, and simply stared at him, expression unreadable. "What is it...love?" Kakashi asked quietly. It was strange to say it, have it etched in the air before the one it was meant for, hearing it without comprehension. But he'd come this far so why not? If Iruka remembered any of this, calling him "love" would be the last thing on his mind.

Before Kakashi could think or say anymore, Iruka brought his bare arms over and around Kakashi's shoulders in a clumsy embrace, nudging against him whilst aiming for the cupped palm of cream Kakashi held behind his back. The jounin laughed with eyes closed, pushing back gently, thrilling at the close contact. He laid his head against Iruka's jostling shoulder, passing his free hand down over bare warm back, resting on the hip. He breathed in deeply, laughter suddenly forgotten. He'd never suspected Iruka would smell so faintly sweet. He wanted to remember it, inhaling once more.

He found his lips lay on delicate collarbone, and dabbed his tongue against it, running a wet trail over Iruka's shoulder and up his neck. Iruka mewled in appreciation and softly nosed him under the chin. Kakashi felt the faint thread of breath ghosting across his throat, and the muted rumble of purring from within Iruka's chest. He placed his hand flat over the vibration, sweeping down over firm abs. Kakashi released a strained sigh and began to fumble with the button of his collar.

Would Iruka still be shy about kissing? Kakashi drew back his head, hesitating a moment with his lips a hair's breadth from Iruka's, before applying the slightest pressure. Iruka pulled away from the contact, turning his head to the side, gaze returning to the out of reach whipped cream. The corners of Kakashi's mouth curved mildly as he chuckled.

Blessing the stars for the ability to problem-solve, he picked up the canister and sprayed a smattering of cream into his mouth. Iruka gave Kakashi's open, waiting mouth an appraising look before licking at a daub that rested on his bottom lip. Ascertaining that it was indeed that yummy substance he craved, he began licking more insistently, crossing the threshold of gleaming flesh. His heartbeat thrumming thick in his ears, Kakashi licked back, tilting his head and sealing his lips over Iruka's. It was a messy sloppy kiss and it made Kakashi's insides quake. This cream-crazed Iruka was not at all shy about slipping his tongue down Kakashi's aching throat.

Pulling away from the sugary lip lock, the jounin was pleased to see his junior partner panting lightly for breath. "It's entirely unfair how cute you are. This is all you're fault you know..." he whispered, smiling and shivering as he tucked a few brown strands behind Iruka's ear, pausing to finger the tender lobe. Kakashi quickly, ever so gently nipped at the moist, reddened bottom lip before him. Iruka didn't pull away this time, but instead dragged his tongue across Kakashi's throat and around the curve of his ear, enjoying the salty flavor. He nuzzled the sloping junction of jaw and neck as Kakashi distractedly began to undo the rest of his shirt buttons, feeling a bit like purring himself.

A flux of warmth traveled up Kakashi's spine as Iruka resumed rubbing deliciously against him, every so often almost getting at the cupped palm. The simmering friction between them made Kakashi feel a little lightheaded; made his very skin ache for Iruka's touch. He could feel need blooming as heat steadily pooled below his midriff. He winced when Iruka's thigh brushed against the throbbing bulge, swallowed hard at the uncomfortably snug feel of his pants. Reaching down he undid the clasp and zipper, all the while raining kisses and nibbling on his squirming, purring captive. He gingerly pushed down the elastic band of his boxers until it rested against the underside of his semi-erect member. Finally bringing his cupped palm forward, he expertly avoided Iruka's darting grasp and smeared the melting whipped cream over his length, hardening further in anticipation. He gulped as he saw Iruka's head dip, attention successfully diverted.

Iruka crouched low, repeatedly flicking and furling a smooth, hot tongue against the head in rapid, maddening succession. Kakashi hissed through clenched teeth but tried to keep still, his whitened fingertips denting the bed's surface. He whimpered and bucked slightly as his insides tightened with mounting sensation. Iruka pressed his tongue one last time over the head, swirling flush against the slit, then began running warm rough swipes and swirls from tip to base, trying to get every last bit of cream. Kakashi bit his lip and eased back, propped on his elbows. He watched Iruka with lidded eyes, alternately panting and groaning, sweat slick brow furrowed. Throwing his head back, he silently but fervently forbade himself from grabbing at Iruka's hair. That would be for another time. His tightening fists fractured the smooth sheets.

It was torture of the most exquisite order. Wanting to prolong it just a bit further, he gave an uneven shake of the can and sprayed a creamy arc on his chest and stomach. Iruka's head bobbed up, and upon spying the new frothy trail, lunged at Kakashi, thrusting him flat onto his back. The bed springs bounced beneath them. Iruka, supported on all fours over a desperately agitated Kakashi, craned his neck to continue the literal tongue lashing of the muscled torso. Kakashi's eyelids fluttered closed in order to focus on the pleasantly mounting ache, enjoying the ministrations from above.

Kakashi twitchedas he felt something brush his painfully erect member, and smirked to see Iruka's tail roaming over his inner thigh. It came to rest curled around his sensitized erection, Kakashi's abdomen contracting as it tickled him. '_Interesting_' thought Kakashi, and placing his hands on Iruka's sides, pulled Iruka closer. His knees jerked up a little when the tail whipped away from around him, razing the circumference of his shaft. He whimpered joyfully.

Ready to end his suffering, Kakashi reached for the canister, but to his horror the sound of the nozzle sputtering and hissing hit his ear. The crackle of deadly intent ignited the air, but was soon quelled when Kakashi noticed Iruka had A.) gone scared-rigid, and more importantly, B.) stopped licking. Once peace returned, Iruka continued prodigiously with the work before him, eliciting a sigh of relief from the man below him, as well as a few new whimpers.

Now, what was Kakashi to do without a whipped cream no jutsu handy, nothing to tempt a cat-brained nin? Ninja learned to adapt and do without, so the copy-nin decided to take matters into his own hands. (hey! Stop with the groaning, it's my crappy fic, I'll use cliched puns if I wanna ;P )

Kakashi's hand traced a heat-streaked path over his ribs and further to grasp his fully taut organ, doing as he had done countless times before. Though, as he correctly theorized, having a solid, tactile, lick-happy Iruka instead of dreamy, intangible, lick-happy Iruka would make the act much more gratifying.

As one hand stroked the fire beneath, the other skimmed up the length of Iruka's arm and up over prominent shoulder blade. Iruka arched into the touch, licking and purring all the same. Kakashi tensed his shoulders, curling them up slightly while pressing the back of his head into the mattress. He could feel release approach, his breath coming increasingly ragged and harsh. Iruka hovered nearer to him, tongue brushing flat against Kakashi's nipples. He lipped at a turgid cream smeared nub, sucking gently. A sharp intake of breath, then low subdued moans emitted from Kakashi's dry lips, bringing him that much closer to completion. Waves of intensifying sensation began radiating out like water disturbed by a dropped stone. The hand on Iruka's shoulder gripped tighter, and in surprise he nipped Kakashi's side, making the man cry out. "Bad kitty…" Kakashi muttered, sharply tensing his fingers on Iruka's shoulder again, and was rewarded with another bite.

Hastening his pace, he thrust into his hand until the waves crashed into one bright glorious flash, sending tremors down his veins. Kakashi jerked, heels dragging and digging into the material beneath him, choked cry of Iruka's name dying on his lips as seed spurted on them both. The impact of release flooded him.

Iruka looked down at the cloudy fluid that dripped off his chest with curious eyes. He put a finger in it and moved to taste it but Kakashi stopped him, gently grasping Iruka's wrist and wiping it off with a sheet. "No love, that's not at all like whipped cream. You might not like it." he said, his eyes merry.

He sat up and cleaned the younger man's chest. Iruka stared openly at Kakashi meanwhile, unblinking, something he never did under normal circumstances. Kakashi watched back, the mad rush of sensation slowly ebbing. He thought he saw some flicker of recognition flit in the chuunin's eyes, but it was gone as soon as it came, if it had been there at all. He placed two fingers under Iruka's chin and drew him swiftly forward, placing a brusque kiss on his lips. Startled, Iruka squeaked, jumped off the bed and left the room, flicking his tail against Kakashi's face. Kakashi flopped back onto the bed and exhaled. He passed his tongue over his lips, tasting Iruka there, and stared at the ceiling. He would have to borrow some clothes. But first, he had other business to attend to, and went in search of the missing cat-nin.

* * *

tbc, real soon in fact since i'm uploading the next chapter immediately after

**Reviewer Response Corner**

**chaotic demon:** aww, don't feel too bad for him, i think he enjoyed it.

**little fox kit:** heh, well, if that's sad then i'm really sad cause i wrote it... ;D

**sweetmoons:** love your sugar and spice series btw, i will review it soon, it's one of my faves yes, wierd. maybe even disturbing. hopefully hot too, though it's hard to tell when you write it. all i can think of are grammatical errors...

**polka dot:** lol, yes, it's a little bit beastility-ish...a little bit non-con-ish...a little bit country...a little bit rock n roll...

**iceheart19:** thanks, this will all be up really soon, cause i'm just about done with the whole thing.

**b.n.n. aka spectre:** ahh, i see. draw away!


	4. Chapter 04: Beliefs and Other Niceties

**!warning!**

**in this chapter:** yaoi (kakashi x iruka-catboy) and all the other warnings in the other chapters. i'm being lazy, yes.  
**rating:** NC-17, no kids allowed. sorry.  
**special thanks:** to **cat w.** for beta-reading this chapter.

* * *

-CHAPTER 04: Beliefs and Other Niceties- 

Like Kakashi, Iruka is a firm believer in teamwork. Iruka the catboy probably had firm beliefs too, but in what was not yet clear. So, it took a bit of persuasion to get him to partake in Kakashi's teamwork ethic. This was clearly evinced by the way he darted crazily about the living room when Kakashi tried to catch him using nice guy methods such ascalling "kitty kitty" and slow approach. Kakashi soon abandoned it.

Fortunately, while Iruka was quick, Kakashi was quicker. In the time it takes a normal person to blink, a sharingan wielding person was holding a squirming cat person's back to his chest, arms around his target's trim waist; flat palms gripping tan skin.

Iruka yowled in surprise, his hands pushing at the arm wrapped around him. Sure it was a nice, warm and firmly gentle hold but no self-respecting catboy would sit quietly when manhandled. Kakashi settled on top of the small dresser in the living room, plunking the wriggling school teacher between his legs. His cat ears nearly flattened, Iruka gave several doleful little mews, and when Kakashi looked into the catboy's face he was dismayed to read fear in the wide brown eyes.

"Shhhhh, Iruka sensei, I don't want to hurt you. I just want to give you something" he said in an even, soothing voice, pulling Iruka closer and using a hand to gently guide Iruka's face nearer to his own. Iruka hiccupped and quieted, releasing one last faltering mewl before Kakashi's lips pressed softly against his.

When Kakashi pulled away he smiled to find curious dark eyes fixed on him again. Seeing Iruka open his mouth to mewl once more, Kakashi thanked the heavens above for vocal cats and dove in. He jolted lightly when Iruka began responding in kind. Encouraged, he explored the utterly delectable mouth more thoroughly, running his tongue over and under and basically all around. Finally breaking away when the burn in his lungs threatened to overwhelm him, Kakashi touched their foreheads together, unwilling to relinquish any of the cloistered warmth between them.

"See? Nothing to be afraid of. I want you to enjoy yourself" he whispered, peppering Iruka's forehead with small kisses before tilting the catboy's chin to resume their afternoon pleasantries.

Have I mentioned that cats are fickle, testy little creatures? One moment they roll over to let you rub their tummy, the next they're spitting and digging every claw into your unsuspecting hand. Catboys are no different.

Iruka suddenly bit down on Kakashi's tongue, deciding it was invading his mouth a bit too much. To his credit the jounin had the presence of mind not to bite back. Kakashi winced as blood seeped over his taste buds. Being no stranger to greater physical pains, he nursed the throb good-naturedly, sucking in cool air over the hurt. Iruka returned to squirming and yowling and generally being adorably difficult.

"Iruka sensei!" Kakashi admonished playfully, "That hurt. Please, behave yourself."

Had Iruka stopped with the hissy-fitting he might have noticed how Kakashi's hand was slithering down his side, over his hipbone, slipping under his boxer's band and lower still. He did notice however, when a pleasant sensation dawned between his legs.

Kakashi felt rather than saw Iruka begin to relax. Pushing back, Iruka's wiggling grew less frantic and more rhythmic. Kakashi grinned to hear the noisy protestations die on those lips, replaced with low rushed breath and pleading whimpers. He buried his nose in Iruka's hair, reveled as it brushed over his forehead and eyes. He plied the tensing shoulders and neck with wet, hungry kisses, murmured seductively into lovely ears as his hand coaxed more pleasured mewls and growls. Iruka's hands clutched Kakashi's thighs, his back arching as Kakashi continued touching him. His strokes were at once rough and tender, fingers feeling for liquid beads on the sensitized head. Iruka pressed into the older man's hand, his body speaking with clarity what his racing mind and tongue could not. Kakashi ached to hear his name spoken urgent with need, perhaps followed by some choice words like "more" or "harder" or "daaaamn, you're huge", but the feathered panting wasn't too bad either.

Iruka leaned hard into Kakashi's shoulder, plastering his back flush against smooth chest. Kakashi turned Iruka's face towards him. The younger man's eyes were mere slits, points of light shone on the glazed pupils. His brow was creased in helpless concentration, his mouth an open invitation. Kakashi couldn't resist kissing it, delving deeper as Iruka moaned. Iruka broke it abruptly to throw his head back further; thrusting forcefully into the pliant hand's quickened pace. Kakashi murmured into the column of Iruka's neck "...this and more if you were mine, Iruka sensei." He laughed a little, the sound a touch shaky, surprised that it hurt to say it. Iruka gave a final urgent thrust and strangled growl, slamming back like a snapped string so that Kakashi smacked into the wall behind him, the catboy's nails raking Kakashi's thighs. If not for the pant material, he would have broken skin. Kakashi wiped the sticky aftermath onto his soiled shirt, slipping it off completely to wipe Iruka off as well.

Iruka lay limp and cradled in his arms, huffing, tongue tip poking out from between bruised lips to wet them. He mewled weakly, languid and spent, all lassitude and drowsiness. He stretched and yawned, flexed his fingers before settling his hands on Kakashi's thighs.Turning his face up to burrow intoKakashi's throat, Iruka administered small licks and purred.

Kakashi felt a little too much of that familiar stirring now, so regretfully, oh so very regretfully pulled away from the snuggling. They really didn't have time for another round. Instead he rested his cheek on Iruka's back,a wavering tail stroking his face and neck as Iruka purred in abject contentment. Kakashi rubbed Iruka's tummy, and ran his fingertips over the scars that littered Iruka's back. He listened to his partner's quieting breath and steadying heartbeat.

'Forgive me', the words appeared unbidden in Kakashi's thoughts, tinged the moment with regret. He'd already felt much of that particularly racking emotion in this life, had finally loosened its grasp. Why was he asking to reenter its painful embrace? He squeezed his eyes shut and told his inner demon to shut the fuck up, slipping his mask back on, the one with cheerful half-circles for eyes and glib excuses at ready. Though no one saw it slip off, it unsettled him to be without it.

* * *

Kakashi cleaned hurriedly, throwing his clothes and the sheets in the hamper. He would swing back to do the laundry but right now it was time to return one catboy to Kurenai's apartment. 

Donning a dark green shirt and khakis, the only clothing Iruka seemed to own other than offfical Hidden Leaf ninja wear, Kakashi padded into the living room. Greeting him was the sight of Iruka curled up on the sofa, lazy tail tapping the cushions absentmindedly. He opened a drowsy eye for a moment before resuming his nap. Kakashi sat by him and scratched briefly behind Iruka's ears, and together they reappeared on the couch of Kurenai's empty apartment, Iruka now fast asleep.

tbc-

A/N: i edited here and there, very minor things, word choice and what not. sorry if spacing is wierd in some areas, this quickedit thing seems to bunch words together at times...


	5. Chapter 05: The Psuedo ending

**!warnings!**

**in this chapter: not much really. i give it a soft PG-13 rating.**

i don't own anything 'cept this 0.39 comb, and this saucepan-hat.

A/N: Two things to mention here.

1. Italics mean inner dialogue (i.e. in the head)

2. This isn't the last chapter like I said it would be. Or it probably isn't, anyways...I just can't think of an ending... u.u

**

* * *

Chapter 05: Where Nothing Happens ;) **

Today:

Asuma tossed the spent packet, at a complete loss, stomping down a small dirt road in the sticks. Having obtained the address to Kakashi's apartment from the registry office, it was with profound dismay that he discovered there was no such residence, no such street even. What would a street name like Cetacea be doing in Konoha anyways? He'd then taken to investigating the local parks, bridges, inns, Ichiraku; nothing. The drain on the distraught nin's chakra from teleporting all over Konoha was nothing compared to the sinking feeling he had when imagining Kurenai's disappointed face. Of course, he was wearing his shinobi face but inside he was a withering mess.

"And now, where am I?" He stalked to an uneven, battered sign partially obscured among the brush, and looked up to see messily scrawled words : Cetacea Street.

Later:

"Well of course he wouldn't be home, it's too obvious!" groused Asuma. He picked leaves and burrs out of his hair. Kurenai was going to kill him. _Where did that ass go! What was Kakashi thinking!_ No no, he didn't want to know he decided. Asuma slowly heaved his way up the steps to Kurenai's apartment. "No use in rushing to your death now is there" he mused unhappily, lips set thin.

When he opened the door he could have wept. Not only was Iruka safe and sound, but asleep. The steady rise and fall under the thin blanket did wonders for that ulcer that had been forming in his gut all morning. Maybe Kakashi wasn't such an ass, maybe just a mini-ass.

Familiar with the saying ignorance is bliss, Asuma decided not to ever ask about the lost 20 minutes.

* * *

On another dirt path through the forest, Kakashi was taking the extra long way home, enjoying the cooling breeze through his borrowed green shirt and the rustling of nature around him. His hands were characteristically in his pockets, freshly laundered clothes hanging over his shoulder. He whistled, and thought about tomorrow.

* * *

The restored Iruka, alone at home, wondered at the taste on his tongue, and the hole in his boxer shorts. 

Kurenai had apologized profusely, refusing his offer to help replace her shattered things. She had detailed the events of the day to a slightly embarrassed Iruka, and offered to obtain a copy of her report for him. Asuma said there was not much more to tell than that, and bid them a hasty farewell with a cigarette in his mouth, and another in his hand. Both were lit.

* * *

And that brings us to tomorrow. 

Ninja sandals moved down the hall, silent as you please. Gloved hands shoved in pockets, a hunched ninja sauntered in his usual carefree fashion.

However, his inner eye was on the prowl. The jounin stopped aside the commons room door, having found the chakra signature he had been looking for.

Iruka was very tired this morning. He was grading papers before his next class, but was finding it hard to concentrate. He'd had a rather unnerving...well, he wasn't sure what to call it, something between a nightmare and a wet dream perhaps? He blushed as he thought of it again. He had been, disturbingly, dressed as a cat, and Kakashi had perpetrated disturbingly pleasa, no, perverted, he meant to say perverted, acts on him.

But the most disturbing part was in the end, when suddenly their location changed, as will happen in dreams. Now in Kurenai's apartment, Kakashi would look him straight in the eye and say, "Let's do this again sometime, love". Iruka would respond by happily mewing and purring, hypnotized and unable to refuse like Iruka absolutely knew he would have done. The references to the jutsu incident he understood, but where did Kakashi and...the rest fit in? and why did just thinking of the copy-nin make the room feel too warm?

Iruka was off in self-analysis land when real life intruded.

"Maa, Iruka sensei, what time is it meow." Kakashi stood at his desk, the visible eye blandly lidded as per usual.

Iruka snapped to attention, face ablaze. _Meow. Had he heard that just now? Meow?_

"K-kakashi sensei, what...what was that?" Iruka asked fearfully.

Kakashi smiled under the mask, making an impression of that disconcerting smile that had plagued Iruka's sleeping hours."I just asked what time it is now. I'm not sure if I have more time to be late or not."

Iruka looked up at him from the desk, and nodded with a weak grin. _'Huh, of course! NOW. not meow. now. I'm losing it.'_

"I-it's 10:30" Iruka stammered, scratching his nose with a forefinger. "You should probably get going, don't you think Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi's visible eye crinkled as he nodded amiably. "You're probably right. Say, is there anything wrong Iruka-sensei? You have bags under your eyes, and you marked this question wrong when I think you clearly meant to mark this one." He leaned over the desk and pointed, rather too close for comfort Iruka thought, gulping.

He looked down at his papers and at Kakashi's hand, now crossed over Iruka's wrist to point at the offending mark. Iruka's blush reached outrageously cute proportions. "Oh...thank you for pointing that out Kakashi-sensei. I guess I've been a little distracted lately." He coughed.

The tardy sensei straightened up and began to head for the door. "Not a problem Iruka-sensei, glad to help. Let's do this again sometime" he said over his shoulder, giving his two finger salute goodbye.

Iruka nodded, and caught himself before he pursed his lips to procure an "m" sound. He glowed ever more brilliantly, feeling a bit lightheaded as his flush deepened.

"Of-of course Kakashi-sensei...good bye" he managed to strangle out of his voice box, and was suddenly very very interested in grading papers once again.

Kakashi turned down the hall, and sighed appreciatively under his mask. Iruka the catboy hadn't colored even once. The chuunin was definitely cuter when properly sentient. Still, he would have to track down Kurenai and finagle the details. Then he could properly claim to be copy nin of a 1000 jutsus and one mis-jutsu.

tbc-

* * *

A/N : as i mentioned, if i can come up with a decent ending, I'll post it sometime...i hope this chapter wasn't too awful, it took me forever to write, mainly cause all i could think of was "what next!". plus, I've just started a new fic...it's kakairu again, but it's AU...because, it's set in a high school...be afraid >:3 

The 'meow' and 'now' joke i shamelessly lifted from the movie SooperTroopers.

Time for some extra stupid stuff you never asked for!

**mary sue theater presents : vindictive ninja bitches**

WARNINGS: cause all things should be prefaced by warnings, yes? crass humor, uncouth language, hell and mary sue (duh, ferreal? says someone who's read the title)

starring Umino Iruka, Hatake Kakashi and yours truly, CandySwirl

UI: what's IS that taste in my mouth? it's kind of sweet -

CS: that's whipped cream.

UI: oh. and it's a little...(_smacks lips_) something else...

CS: that's dick.

UI: (_choke sputter_) wha-

CS: d-i-c-k.

UI: what do you me-

CS: i mean dick, penis, schlong, johnson, nob, chinchin (goes on and on)

UI: **:x** how would you kn-

CS: trust me.

UI: but i've neve-

CS: (_nods slowly_) TRUST ME.

UI: ...well, whose!

CS: **>:)**

UI: tell me!

CS: **>:)**

UI: pwetty pwease (_big shiney pleading eyes_)

CS: augh!alright alright, stop with the puppy eyes you cute fuck! it was... **>>** (_whispers_) kakashi's **>>**

UI: PERVERT GONNA DIE! (_puff of smoke_)

(_another puff of smoke_)

HK: now why did you tell him that?

CS: **OO** ack, k-k-kakashi, i...i...he used the puppy dog eyes! augh! n-now put away that chidori...hehe, ok? friends? eh heh, would you like a cookie...

HK: thanks. i see. your fate is death. (_reveals shar_ing_an_)

CS: **ToT** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, i gave you a cookie you bastaaaaard! (_fades into vapor)_

**Later in Hell, the sounds of typing ringing through the fiery halls-**

CS:writing an uber-uke-kakashi x entire ninja faculty EXCEPT iruka/old man ichiraku/kisame/zombies fic

CS: **>:D** how do you like that kakashi! heheh, gross zombie sex, heehee! old man ichiraku cock! hahaaa! kisame lovebites! ewwwwww (_cackles_)

(_puff of smoke_)

HK: how do i like what?

CS: **OO** oh, k-k-kakashi! what are you doing here!

HK: satan is a friend of mine. how do i like what?

CS: ah-hahaha, NOTHING **:D **(_tears sheets to bits and eats them)_

HK: (_starts up chidori_)

CS: **OO** (_bits of paper flying out of mouth_) bu-but i'm already dead!

HK: it'll still hurt though

ze end

heheh. yeah i should know better ;P


End file.
